12/28/2004

Changeling’s Chronological Challenge

Filed under: — Eternal @ 5:13 am
To the pain.
To live a long life unable to draw or write or read.
Without these three I’d be nothing more than animal.
–A man’s man who cries when no one sees him
And he writes poetry. Like a fucking…woman.
–A disgrace to old-world men.

Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis.
The new-world man is a pussy, And he fears thought.
The old-world man feared knowledge and intellect.
What will the next generation bring?
Lineages of sorting out the artists from the machines.
The artists then become machines to provide art within the lives of the machine-men.

The thought is new and yet familiar to me.
I can’t see whether we change for the worse, for the better, or if we even change at all.
And is it unchanging that we constantly change, or is it unchanging that we change not at all?
Now it rambles here in circles and is a poor mans logic, argument and discussion.
But I want to know. And I’m trying to sift something from the piles of shit.
But maybe that’s a fecophiliac’s excuse. Meh.
To the Change.

Imagine
No possessions. No religion too? Its hard to Imagine.
Well, it’s easy if you try, dick.
And every man did what was right in his own eyes.
Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi.
I didn’t break the law. I Am the Law.
I am the great “I Am”
Nosce te ipsum!
Everything that rises must converge.
All roads led into one and a river runs through it.

Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who wasn’t there.
How do you fair on your walk with God?
-confusion- Haven’t you heard? God is Dead.
I can’t imagine life without God.
Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur.
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The Foolish man built his life upon a thought.
I think the Matrix can be more real than this world.
Why are you wearing that silly man suit?
Why, oh why, didn’t I take the blue pill?
I was cured alright…
All I have to do here is pull a plug
You shall know the truth. And the Truth shall set you free!
I’m trying to free your mind.
All I can do is show you the door; The rest is up to you.
And the life built on God went SPLAT

But where’s your sense of right and wrong?
Quod natura non sunt turpia.
Ah, Morality. The last bastion of human stupidity.
Others may decide to let others decide how to live their lives..
But I’ve decided that I’ll decide how to live my own.
Beyond Good and Evil The Virtue of Selfishness –Evolves.
Evolve or Die.

Natural Selection isn’t about Survival of the Fittest.
Or how only the strong shall survive. Or even who
can adapt best to their environment. Its about who
is most cockroach-like. Who can breed multitudes
despite race, creed, or financial status. Because as
long as technology keeps mankind alive just long
enough for the weak, poor, and the ugly to breed
hordes, while the strong, rich, beautiful and the
educated reserve themselves, the weak breeders
shall flourish. The most cockroach-like will survive.
They may even look the part of the roach by the time
the rest of mankind, as we know it, has expired.
And when you see one, you’ll know there are millions nearby.
Stultorum infinitus est numerus.
The Horror
The Horror
Thats the way the world ends.
Damn dirty apes! They blew it up!
Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why don’t you all just…fade away.

Post tenebras lux.
I cannot save you. I can’t even save myself.
Close cover before striking.
The best defense is a good offense.
This is what we call a preemptive strike.
Fight. Win. Prevail.
Si vis pacem, para bellum.

12/25/2004

Ressurecreational Tales

Filed under: — Eternal @ 2:47 pm
Undead Jesus
at second light of day, that’s night
all god’s men are one, the same, insane
moonlit twilight, betray though it might
animals, nameless, untrained nor tame
purity, laid bare for the mask unveiled
by the evil it enshrouds,
the dark lord dost ensnare humanity
is lost and truths come to light,
unhandled and bright,
the savior from eternal strife,
risen from death…but not quite…to life.

12/10/2004

Kali: Goddess of Fear

Filed under: — Eternal @ 1:27 am
I, Rakavija, was once a powerful demon, an Oni so powerful even the gods could not face me. But that was back when my chin pressed against my chest just to see the world beneath my hammered hoofed feet. Brahma granted this, my wish; to gain power through my own bloodshed, but were I wiser I’d have wished more carefully. Every god that brought a weapon against my flesh either fell to my blood, or fled for their lives. Each attack I sustained fed the fire within me and the rage accumulated. I slaughtered hordes of men, expired small armies of spirits, and a few of the ancients lie in my wake as well.
As the battle raged on, a goddess, knowing my secret wishes, and my bond with Brahma, rode through air on the back of a great lion. My lower jaw dropped when I saw her. All at once she was both a vision of beauty and of terror. The pounding of my heart brought tremors to earth below. She was inhumanly light-skinned, a vision of purity and truth, the truth that might bring my death. She had the wildest Blue-Green Eyes like that of a Forest Mononoke, awestruck as she stared into my tremulous dark soul, my sword in hand fell to my side, the veins bursting from my scaly red forearm. Her long blonde hair flailed sensually through the air. And with my eyes upon hers, I noticed her lips begin to move, and all at once a powerful voice that only a goddess could have burst from her lips, and though she spoke only slightly above a whisper, her words echoed forcefully through my body, across the plains, and rolled like thunder over the mountaintops.

“I am the dance of death that is
behind all life
the ultimate horror
the ultimate ecstasy
I am existence
I am the dance of destruction that
will end this world
the timeless void
the formless devouring mouth
I am rebirth
Let me dance you to death
Let me dance you to life
Will you walk through your fears to dance with me?
Will you let me cut off your head
and drink your blood?
Then will you cut off mine?
Will you face all the horror
all the pain
all the sorrow
and say “yes"?
I am all that you dread
all that terrifies
I am your fear
will you meet me?”
-Unknown Author

The rest of that day, in my memory is a blur at best. Somehow, she defeated me, without trouble I gather. She drank my blood for centuries, until one day fate decided to throw a favor my way and freed me from the goddess Kali, the one that pacified my heart, the one that drained my life, and the one that still walks today.
I’ve thought a lot lately of that past love of mine. I had a crush on her then, for that moment among epochs, but since have become a far different Creature in recent years. In fact have been many different “me’s". When I think about those spirits I might visit when I return to earth again, and who I’d like to laugh with and know better, She always ends up parading through my mind on that lion of hers; sometimes basking nude in the sun with love in her eyes, and sometimes with that destructive truth in her eyes, each of her hands bearing swords who scream for the blood of yours truly.
From what I know of her, I think she and I would make good friends now. As I am not the demon I once was, but am now a gallant soldier in the infantry of truth as she, the mighty priestess, is a leader of such. However, I don’t know any goddesses or muses that I don’t flirt with. She might take my flirting to believing that I am still in love with her, or have fallen again. And, I think it’s my falling in love with her from the start that forced her to do away with me the first time I saw her. I still remember her, having spent a lifetime in her soul that time our eyes met. Many smiles and happy times she and I had shared, but many tears came as well. I caused them by falling in love with her, and a few of the tears belonged to her eyes.
I think she and I, were we descend as people, and live on the same plane of existence, would get along a lot better now. But inside I think it’s somehow best that I never deal with her again, though the reason I like to keep friendly bonds wherever I go now is that its a small world, and one can run from his pasts, but can’t hide for long.

12/4/2004

Has the United States lost the love?

Filed under: — Eternal @ 11:04 pm
I imagine, although I’m sure I’m mistaken, that love used to be far easier to attain, to give, and to share. There must have been a time and place wherein people never spoke of love, and never had to, they just had it. They loved their lives, they loved their neighbors, they loved all the good and the bad that came their way, and they were loved.
I’m a dreamer sure, but I’m a realist as well as an escapist. I’m optimistic, but my glass is only one fourth full, it’s getting harder to ignore the emptiness. My fear is that in the capitalist land of the free, where the word ‘public’ means either off-limits or shitty, we have not only attained freedom from treachery and ugliness, but from glory and beauty as well. We no longer eat to live, we live to eat. Every hour of nearly every day is spent making the one or two hours to ourselves that we long for possible. I believe at one time even the work was a part of the time people longed for. People’s work served a purpose, not only in survival, but in the journey, and it enriched them.
I understand what it is to be punch-drunk love, but the more concrete; the more beautiful love is that which is born out of nurtured relationships. Grown like a redwood tree, over time, nourished and cared for, love is a relationship that binds and engenders mankind.
The world I live in, was molded and crafted by the money hungry, and the power driven, who seek always to have more because they are not content with themselves. In order to get more, they tell the people that they are worthless without such and such a product. When this started it was easily ignored, but as more bought into self-loathing, it the methods and amounts of brainwashing became more and more prevalent. Why walk when you could drive? Why drive when you could fly? Isn’t she beautiful, for 4 easy payments you can be to! Why not have louder speakers? You need a bigger television. Have more cola; Longer lasting, extra-strength, super-size, braces, glasses, acne-medications, celebrities do. 300% markup, sue them, file for a divorce, goes faster, jumps higher, holds more space, no down payment, lease, charge it, buy me.
Some environments are hard for love to grow in. It’s sparse, rare, and weak. Spoken of in terms of Redwoods and Whales, but only ever seen as twigs and guppies. I know, I know…If I don’t like it, I can geeet out! But what I can’t do is hope for it to be better.

12/1/2004

Learn to Swim

Filed under: — Eternal @ 10:42 pm
The sound of hitting bottom is painful enough.
The blood of life–A wasted life–disperses from your head.
All because you know. You think you know
about you; about me; about Life.
You show off the new dive you’ve learned.
While all can see you still can’t swim.
So you opted for the shallow end.
You hit bottom and now you’re dead
Those who watched all have learned
Dive in the deep. And learn to swim.

11/28/2004

Mental Masturbation

Filed under: — Eternal @ 10:35 pm
You think you understand so much…yet all I can see is that you like this philosophy mode where you all of the sudden think that everything comes into absolute question. But if you’re going to do this…be prepared to live this way, otherwise you’re simply masturbating. Only talk as far as you live, or as far as you’re willing to change, or what the fuck are you doing? Gee, I like these talks You say. Yeah well, I don’t like helping you masturbate you simple fuck. If you’re just here to satisfy escapism, then I’m out of here. I find no redemption at all in wasting time with you when you have all the answers…none of which are your answers. All the while you tell me that your purpose in life is to get other people to think what you think, and for them to do the same to others. The smell is too much for me…next time wipe your ass before you let it do the talking.

11/25/2004

Beside Myself

Filed under: — Eternal @ 9:42 pm
Have you ever lived a dream? I lived a dream again today. It was a dream where you are in the 3rd person camera angle; watching yourself as you walk to places, you make some decisions or carry on conversations. I wasn’t in the driver’s seat, but I was in the passenger’s seat. I was beside myself. I watched myself drive through the dream. This was real though, it merely felt like a dream. I wasn’t a navigator, just a bystander, (not an innocent bystander, because for some reason I was guilty by association.) After all, I had to be associated; it was me. It was me even though I was just kind of watching. As I watched me, I –the one who I watched- went to a party. He (I) was foolish and I wanted to jump in and take control so that he could be himself again. He was beside himself, and here I was. I saw myself chat with a young gal who I (he) could barely bring myself to talk with. I (myself) did not know what to say; I wanted to jump in and say everything that “I” could not bring myself to say. I was speechless, as was he…me. I wanted to ask her everything and tell her everything, but I (he) could not, so much as, move my lips. Some conversation that became! Eventually I did say something, but I was never allowed to jump in and say what I would have wanted to say if I were me.

11/22/2004

Snuff the Weak

Filed under: — Eternal @ 4:23 pm
Overblown, Pompous ego-juicers
Knee-high to my belt
Eye me down from well below

Speech betrays the dwarven hulks
Impotent without their tongues;
Cowardice behind cruel masques

Ignore the ignorant; Enslave yourself
Honor void among thieves

Become the weak; and die
debasement engenders apathy
Or…
Snuff the ineffectual; And thrive.
“Everything that rises must converge”

11/10/2004

Schizophrenic Penitent Love Machine

Filed under: — Eternal @ 3:40 pm
So, me; you’ve duct-taped your mouth shut again huh? Well, you know it’s going to hurt to remove it. Why? Why did you do that? Well, you see, your words were not fully appreciated holistically by the whole of your comrades. Also, I felt I should shut my filthy hole. Not to mention, the fact that I hadn’t taken those happy pills, and I’m a little moody. I had a lot of vodka tonight. And I had it all straight. That sucked quite a bit, as far as the taste was concerned. I’m not much into drinking hard liquor though. I just wanted to experience the feel of drinking one’s problems away. You know, kill the pain… That wasn’t to smart buddy. Yeah, we know. Well, I went to a gymnastics game today. That was pretty good! But you knew that. I suppose. You know you’re killing my soul. You know that don’t you? Yeah, I know. Our soul, or are you my soul? Anyway, I’m beginning to see feel real guilt for once -not the guilt that this world has come to understand. This isn’t a learned guilt. This is the attack of some supernatural presence on my soul; letting me know that it’s come for me, and that certain things will not be permitted. I committed adultery in my heart tonight. With my eyes I cut the clothes from those gymnasts, and with my lustful heart and mind, I raped them. I lusted after these scantily clad women. But in my thoughts I wouldn’t have called it rape. They never said no, and their bodies sure as hell said yes. But they balanced, flipped, salted, and vaulted right onto my hard horny love machine.

11/4/2004

Writing through the block

Filed under: — Eternal @ 3:15 pm
writing shit upon my page
not really writing anyway

there once was a time I could write, son
lost all originality and then some
I can’t think straight for the life of me
and I’ll never write a line of poetry
but then I look up
at what I’ve written here
A few alliterations
dumb dogs -Dalmatians
and I’m hilt for sword spewing forth synecdoche
not know what to say
struggling all day
writing my way
to when my words will surely pay
pay day.
When I’ve finally written a book
I can flip back and look
at what an artist I’ve become
if I don’t soon find my style
I’ll be poor more than a while
and we’ll go hungry, son

11/1/2004

Three’s a Crowd & The Rise of Personality Multiplicity

Filed under: — Eternal @ 2:55 pm
Roll Call.
Speak up when present.
Don’t all talk at once

There are those people who seem to fair well on their own
And there are those who feel that it takes two to be complete.

Times will come when you have to cope on your own,
And there are times when you’ll have or need help

Some will bring out the best in you
And some will bring you down

Sometimes there just isn’t enough room
In my case, there were three of us;
Holed up in one room

Before I arrived, this was an icy hell, sad and dry.
I warmed things up a bit, But it was still dark; the way I like it.

My roommate never spoke much, and was pretty passive.
He never left his corner. I knew he knew that I was here.
But he didn’t seem to care one way or another;
Just so long as my fire didn’t spread.

He even relished in my darkness

Then the new guy showed up. He carried an unbearable light.
I was furious. My Fire never gave much light, just heat.

This one brought a new life to our dwelling.
Unforgivable. I Raged and steamed, but he ignored me.

In the new light The Native was easy to see,
and his cold gaze on the newcomer was fierce and ever-present.
But he never spoke a word.

The situation had to be dealt with.

The Native and I would just as soon leave this place to The Rookie, but there
None of us has the time enough to progress,
And we certainly get in each other’s way
We need a little more space because
Dealing with each other has become impossible
Now the question is who is to go.
None of us really like the apartment.
So each of us would be fine with leaving
If there was somewhere to go