5/18/2009

My Korean Sisters Vacation 3: Yongpyung

Filed under: — site admin @ 9:46 am

Warning:



Saturday afternoon I went to meet my lovely sisters, Jee-eun and Mini. After misunderstandings of relationships, I figured it was going to be a lonely ride for my part. So, I prepared myself by being tired enough to sleep and not ready to flirt. (I was up partying and drinking the previous 3 nights, and had not been sleeping much). However, they brought another wonderful friend to meet me. Her name is Boomi. Boomi was in a great mood and very sweet, and I regret that I may have let her down.

When we arrived at the ski lodge resort, we changed clothes. This should have been easy enough to do, but they wanted to cut my athletic pants that are dragging on the ground, and getting wet in the rainy weather. I agreed it was a good idea (I’ve been losing some weight, so my pants are hanging longer than before). I knew something like what happened next was going to happen. So, I wanted to do it myself. But Mini was adamant about chopping up my clothes. I gave in. Then Bumi and Mini tried to make a game of fitting into my pants each of them with both legs in one leg of my pants. They fell over, laughed, and had a good time…to my point of view, a bit at my expense, but I took it in stride, that they are two of the smaller people I know. Mickey photographed the event.

Next, we headed down to get a nice beef meal (excellent beef is hard to come by in Korea, and it always has a high price). This was amazing meat!! Also, it was barbecued Korean style by three wonderful cooks (Korean style, is you barbecue it and cut it at your own table to your own liking). The girls tried to get me to eat it bloody, and kept tossing it at me, so I decided “to hell with mad cow disease” today is a good day to die. I indulged. They bought a lot more meat than they could handle, so they kept on dishing me…my stomach size is a lot smaller these days (even if my belly isn’t), so I had a tough go of it. However, it was delicious. I ate like a king.

The next stop we hit was the No-ray-bong (easy explanation = Korean Karaoke). It was difficult to perform as we were all incredibly full, but we had a good time. I need to learn some Korean songs better, by the way. My own highlights were Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful", Green Day’s “She", The Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black". Unfortunately they made me sing Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” as well.

We then found that the pool tables were free of people, and played 3 friendly games of 2 on 2. Bumi was a beginner so started poor, and I started strong, but ended poor. However the girls were teaching her the whole way, and by the end, she was my pinch hitter. Mini and Mickey (Jee-eun) won 2 games to 1. All three games were lost do to scratching on the 8-ball, or hitting it in early. They were good sports about playing by American rules this time. Although I think Mini secretly wanted to beat me senseless with the pool cue.

Around 12:30 in the morning we went to the “Family Mart” convenient store to buy brewskies and anjou (beer friend or appetizers / snacks). Then we headed up to the room and sat around eating snacks and sipping beer (they were sipping, I was drinking). Anyway, they wanted to watch TV…I hate television, especially when I can’t understand a word of it. So, I expressed my disinterest in the affair. There was mis-communication or disagreement or both. I went to my room and sang to my beer. When I came back for another the TV was off and two of the girls had gone to bed (perhaps figuring I had done so as well). So, I went into their room and pillow fought them for a while. Jee-eun stayed up cleaning, so she and I had a good heart to heart talk until 4:30 in the morning.

I tried my CPAP before going to bed. It tripped the breaker from every outlet in the room. I tried a different style and blew up my American power strip. This wasn’t the first time, we had been through this problem, and the last time, the girls got up for an hour in the middle of the night, then got us a place at a new motel. I was a pain in the ass to them…but their style is happy to help. I didn’t want to be a problem again this time, so I told the older sister to go to bed, and I would be fine. 10 minutes later the lights were on outside my room and they were on the phones. I was pissed off, that they had to make my problem theirs. I’m utilitarian in my thinking that it’s better one person be tired and three happy and rested, than all four people tired, especially if one of them has to drive the rest of us. Anyway, by 6:00am they got a transformer brought to our room. It worked well. They solved my problem, and were really invasive into my privacy. However, it is the way they show love, and I know this, so I appreciate it a lot. My mom knows how stubborn I am about her treating me like a child, especially about something that is a problem I am not proud of, a weakness. Because these women are neither my girlfriends nor my mothers, I acted pretty difficult. But, I feel like a jerk now. They have aptly identified me as a “stiff-necked old man", or a “stubborn mule". I totally agree.

The next day I was still pretty tired from the previous 4 nights and from a lot of exercise during the weak. I was a zombie. It was raining hard. We got some food on the go, and went to a “Herbanara” herb garden. It was pretty cool, but was raining a lot, and the girls wanted to take pictures. I had a decent time, but was too sore for the movement, getting wet, and it just wasn’t my style. I was tired as hell. The tea was awesome, some of the art was cool, but I felt lonely during the experience, the music in the lil houses was really gay, and I wasn’t feeling sexy enough for photos (even though I checked my reflection enough to see that I was indeed a handsome bastard). The girls were really cute, especially amongst the flowers, so I was happy to be the camera man. Next to the Herbanara, we stopped and had some odeng and pajun. Delicious!

My memory is getting fuzzy about the rest (since I waited so long to write), but I know we drove for a while to a shooting range in the mountains. It was a blast. They had skeet and trap. We shot trap with double barrelled shotguns. I missed my first 4 shots, then removed the bulky protective ear muffs. I hit 19 of the next 20 shots. After we all shot, we had a gun photo shoot. Then we went pistol shooting. I shot a 9mm Beretta. And we all shot a .22 long barrelled pistol. Mickey is a former olympic team shooter. She shot with amazing grouping and accuracy. Boomi was not a fan of the big blast of the guns, so she stopped early and let me shoot the rest of her shells. I don’t remember how Mini did, but I think all of her shots were on paper if not on target, which is pretty good. I didn’t aim between shots, because I didn’t know how many bullets we had, and how much they cost (2 to 6 times as much as in the U.S. but you’re also paying for use of the gun in that price). So, I shot pretty fast, and really enjoyed it. There were a couple difficulties, they have an attachment on the gun, that leaks to rope/rubber band, to hold the gun in place. This restricts movement and the natural feel or weight of the gun. Also, I’m a big guy, and need space to the left of the gun to stand, when shooting right handed. The gun agoshi (man, or father) was standing to the left, which left me pretty cramped…which would have been fine if I could move the gun. Also, the distance we shot from is further than I am used to. But my general aim was pretty good. Then we had another photo shoot with weapons.

The drive home was long and torturous (due to want of wajanshili = toilet), in traffic. But the company was great. I didn’t know when or if we were going to eat. So we ate all of Boomi’s oljingo (squid jerky). Finally we arrived at the house of foods, where we ordered a slough of sea snake (chung-oh / eel). It was amazing considering eel is one of my most favorite foods, and I was starving, and Mini did I fine job in saucing and cooking it.

Mickey treated me on this vacation, and I owe her much thanks…and probably dinners. ;) Thanks, girls. Sorry, I can’t do the next vacation. Maybe next one.

5/12/2009

Protected: M Day

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5/10/2009

Protected: Cold Hard Rejection

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5/8/2009

Adventurism

Filed under: — site admin @ 11:48 pm
Is it my courage or my cowardice that results in more pain? One lands me in the shit, the other can’t get me out. Why a passive voice personifying intangible characteristics? Who am I talking to?

Talk about rapid cycling. I’ve been on incredible highs and lows the last two weeks. I feel alive and my world’s turning inside out. I’m floating around in ecstasy, so don’t stop me now, cause I’m having a good time. I’m a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity. I’m a racing car passing by like lady Godiva I’m gonna go go go, there’s no stopping me I’m burning through the sky. Two hundred degrees, that’s why they call me mister Fahrenheit. I’m traveling at the speed of light. I wanna make a supersonic man out of me. I’m having a ball, if you wanna have a good time just give me a call. I don’t want to stop at all. I’m a rocket ship on my way to mars on a collision course. I’m a satellite out of control. I am a sex machine ready to reload, like an atom bomb about to Oh oh oh oh oh explode. ~Queen said it all, and said it best. But, it scares me…because I’m burning through the sky upon re-entry. My flesh is aflame and the turbulence is shaking me apart, liquefying my innards.
I can’t let the music stop. My blood is consistently pumping a low percentage of alcohol. I can’t eat, but my stomach is eating itself away. I’m needy as hell.

I got a wink and a smile from a flashy filly
Ooh my ooh my she looked grand
She said “I like your style, now don’t go acting silly…”
Ooh my ooh, she grabbed my hand
Never thought that I could shake and groove it
Now I’m a dancin’ fool
Dug my feet cause they could really move it.

But oops I went acting silly.

5/3/2009

Korean Christmas 2008

Filed under: — site admin @ 7:21 pm

Last night Andy, Eric, Nick, Ji-hoon, Su-hyeuk, Weston and myself had a Christmas Eve guys night out. We started with Sam gyap sal at a new place in Nowon. Then we proceeded to the Coliseum, only to go to a place a few floors up due to prices. There we ate and played a little bit of drinking games and had a blast for about 3 hours. At around 2 a.m. Nick went home and the rest of us went to Volume dance club. Weston and I made a quick appearance then called it a night as well. Those who stayed later don’t remember the rest of the night, except that they met back up with the four girls they had hit on at the dinner place.

Today Nick, Ji-hoon, Su-hyeuk and I went to a city north of Seoul, near an army base. We had the base special for breakfast at 12:30pm. It consisted of sausage, bits of pork, kimchi, ramen, and some bibenbop. We threw in some rice. We had a wonderful meal, then got some free coffee, and drove off. Soon afterward we saw batting cages alongside the road. We hopped out and hit a few rounds. Then, we tried some sort of strong punch light bag (boxing). I didn’t note where it measured the impact, so I think I biffed it. Ji-hoon won, I came in second (but I did beat Ji-hoon left handed at arm wrestling the night before…and he’s left handed, and as he likes to point out, was a marine). Anyway, we sang on the way home, then parted ways.

Nick took a nap while I killed a lot of people on X-Box Live CoD 4 expansion game. I got my ass handed to me most of the time.

At 6pm I took a cab toward the area where I work. I was invited to meet a friend at her church for Christmas to watch her perform in an ensemble and do a solo part. She is university student majoring in opera, and I had hoped to see her sing. The cab dropped me off where I asked him to. But, I walked the wrong way, found a church and asked a few people if they knew the apartments and church where the place was located. After about 30 mins of walking and looking (in the icy cold) I managed to find the place. The leading members were very kind and welcoming. The service started at 7pm. I was very impressed at how talented the choir was. Granted, it’s more difficult to judge when I don’t speak the language, but this was a pleasant thing. I couldn’t critique it, only enjoy. Also, it was easier to accept the songs for their musical merit without the theological social tones in the lyrics. Sure I know what they are, but I couldn’t hear them, and couldn’t sing them at the time. It took me back, to my 18+ years of choir, church, chapel, and music classes.

The first time I saw Go-eun, she was on a dinner date with two of my co-workers (both of whom had girlfriends who weren’t present). When the rest of us coworkers joined up with them, seats were jumbled and I ended up taking over the conversation for one of the guys. At the time I had no interest in starting or forcing any relationships with anyone. (I had still been emotionally involved concerning a number of things (overworked and changing jobs, the loss of my dog of 13 years, and the detachment from my culture and country -along with the mistrust and prejudice of foreigners and the disgust and unfamiliarity Koreans have with people my size -particularly with fat.) Anyway, I felt that we really hit it off. It wasn’t that she seemed interested in me, but it was so easy to talk together. We had fun, and I wanted to have that again. I got her number through my co-worker and his connection to her friend. I called her up about a week later, asked her if she wanted to get together again and get dinner. We talked on the phone for a while, and we set a date for a few days later. I met with my friend Ji-hoon by surprise that night, and we ran to my house and exchanged piles of dvds with each other. I then met up with my co-workers for dinner at a pizza place. We finished about 10 minutes before my date, 1 minute away from our meeting spot. I had forgotten what Go-Eun looked like. I remember she was cute, with dark hair, a nice Korean face, and dressed for warmth…at a subway stop, that could be almost anyone. Also, I wasn’t dressed up, because I have no outdoor winter dress-wear. So, I wore a hoodie over my nicest unseen shirt. I figured she’d notice an incredibly large white guy without trouble, so I leaned against the building and waited. Sure enough, she found me before I found her. To my surprise she was more beautiful than I had remembered. I mentally sighed with joy and relief as well as disappointment with myself for not looking my best. I had worked over 10 hours that day, on 5 and a half hours of of sleep. It was 8pm and I was extremely tired. I enjoyed speaking with her, but the magic seemed lost. She wasn’t in to drinking, and I didn’t appear to loosen up a whole lot when I did drink. I think we found ourselves working more on translation in our communication, than on substance. We had a good dinner at a diner owned by the mother of a friend of hers. It was excellent boneless bbq spicy chicken, with Korean style kimbop balls prepared by Go-Eun at the table. I walked her home, which I think she thought was a little awkward, but I’ve seen to many girls in Korea walking home alone well after midnight, and half the time they are staggering drunk and about to pass out. Go-Eun didn’t have too much to drink, but I had hoped to talk with her more. Her apartment complex is about a five to ten minute walk from mine, and our meeting spot had been right in the middle. I left her at the entrance to the multi-building complex, so as to leave her with a sense of anonymous security, after all she was new to the idea of dating or even speaking with “scary foreigners.” I said goodbye, and leaned in to hug her (it was probably too soon looking back on it). She instinctively responded in kind, only to quickly pull back and put her hands down, while leaning in. I didn’t hug her, and leaned away. “Aww, no hug?” I asked in a mock-hurt voice (I suppose I was hurt, because I was in need of a hug, but it didn’t have to be from her). She explained that she couldn’t because of Korean culture. She said that people only hug each other if they are lovers. “Fair enough", I thought. I shook her hand and said goodnight. On the walk home I couldn’t help but feel disappointed in myself for not being more entertaining. I think I even apologized to her about that when we said goodnight. I thought what a needy bastard I am for even trying to get hugs from people. I had been out with my boss twice now, and had given her a big hug at the end of both nights. She was fine with it (and I had asked her to make sure). What was the difference, was she open to the idea that we could be lovers? No, it wasn’t that. Perhaps she is just more open mentally, older and more experienced, and of course more interested and used to western culture. I began thinking that I was not what Go-Eun was looking for in a date, and she was not what I was looking for in a potentially long term relationship (Rule 1: She has to like me. You’d think this would be a given, but I’m retarded) . And if we couldn’t hug, how could I get much out of even dating or friendship. I chastised myself for being so needy. But I was raised well, my family are huggers, good, strong huggers. We’re affectionate and close. “Fine", I thought. I’ll go to my brother’s apartment tomorrow and get a big hug from him…get it out of my system. Then I wondered…how would a couple become lovers if they aren’t hugging or showing physical affection first. The possible answers to that scared me. From what I’ve seen of the night life, guys get girls drunk and then have sex with them. From then on I guess it’s up the guy if he want’s to take advantage of the lover relationship to hug the girl he likes.

Later, it came to mind with a chuckle. I guess if I really like a girl I could settle with just going slow…we could just make love a lot, and hold off on the hugging until we decide to take the next step in our relationship. Would the sex substitute for the affection of a hug? Hmmmm.

The Christmas program began. The pastor translated himself for some of his lines, clearly with me in sight. There were a few smiles and welcomes from the congregation, but mostly their were curious looks. The ensemble started pretty early on. There were so many beautiful girls. Which one was she? I know…not off to a good start. But, seriously this was only my first time seeing this girl, and a lot of the characteristics that make a girl beautiful in Korea, are shared characteristics. You should see my Dominican friend with blond white girls in Utah. Granted, he’s friends with everyone, but he finds them all attractive, while I just see more blond Mormons. Back to the story. They were dressed in black velvet. Their hair was done up beautifully And the last time I saw her, when I hadn’t remembered what she looked like, she wore a stylish hood hat, which covered all of her hair. So, it was up to facial features. There were three specifically who were the right age, with beautiful faces. I knew there was no way I could sit across from this girl twice for a couple hours and not tell her apart (at a distance while dressed alike) from other beautiful girls her age. “What did she look like", I thought. “Oh yeah", I had commented on her mannerisms with her face and nose which reminded me of Ji-hoon’s brother Hanshin. She didn’t seem to like that I said that at the time, but Hanshin looked funny when he made those faces…Go-Eun looked adorable.

I panned for those lips, jaw bone, and button nose. There she was, brownish hair, possibly colored. From my perspective, she was the most beautiful girl on stage (out of 30+). I thought a magazine would have chosen the girl next to her, but that girl didn’t carry character, just polish. Go-eun was a sight to behold. My eyes were drawn to her, even before I was certain it was her I was looking at. However, I was careful not to stare, so as not to disrupt her. Before I knew it was her, I was careful not to stare, in case it wasn’t her, and she had been watching me. Crazy how the mind works. Crazier that I write about it.

The ensemble was formidable and impressive. The songs were beautiful and well rehearsed. The church songs were mixed with religious and non religious Christmas songs. They began and ended the night with a happy birthday song, to Jesus, I believe (Koreans all have a birthday on new years, for all I know, they were celebrating their own birthdays as well). Go-Eun had a solo song, which had backup from the choir late in the song. She sang with her full Opera power (as much as the song would allow for). She was amazing. At one point they were singing a hymn or two that I can definitely belt, and thought maybe I could sing them with her. Then I heard her part, and I could tell her voice apart from the rest, my singing couldn’t compare to her power and precision.

The entire performance was wonderful and fun. I hadn’t felt like it was Christmas, but this gave the night magic. It was a different magic than I hoped for, but a magic to the holiday nonetheless. I wasn’t sure if Go-eun even wanted to see me there. Our last date was shambles, and our first date wasn’t even ours. She wouldn’t, or simply didn’t, call to give me directions on how to get there, she gave me a text message that was very difficult for a non-hangook speaker who was unfamiliar to the area to decipher. I guess she thought I was smart enough. Luckily, I was. I didn’t know where we stood, because I felt like to her I was just some under dressed, over affectionate, immensely obese, unentertaining guy whom she doesn’t have time for. That may all be true, but afterward, as the church cleared out, I tried not to bolt. I wanted to talk to her and compliment her on her performance, as well as to see if she wanted to do something after (granted, it is Christmas and she does have family here unlike myself), but you can’t win the lotto without a ticket, so I took my time. She very quickly sneaked (she’s short) through the crowd and thanked me for coming. She was worried that I might have been bored. I blasted past my instinct to hug her as she got my attention, and put my hand out. She appeared to have attempted a hug. Whether I’m delusional or not, I’m confused. I did the two hand hand shake, as if to hug her hand…nothing crazy or awkward…where I come from, church folk do it all the time. Anyway, it looked like that was a little odd for her. Whatever…she was very sweet to me, and seemed very glad I came to see her. Or, she’s a good faker. She had me at hello. WTF am I talking about. I asked her what she was doing. She told me she had to go take a photo (something was lost in translation). I decided to leave, since I’m sure she had a family or more church gathering to attend, and if she really wanted to see me more after her photo, she had my cell number. The church leaders were very kind to me on the way out, excited to have a new face, and a white one at that. A couple of them practiced the few words of English on me that they knew. I smiled and humored them, then walked off to the bus stop, music playing in my head. It was nice. It was Christmas. I called my brother (who fears entering a church again and wouldn’t go with me) and told him things went well, as an experience as well as with the girl. But, I didn’t want to lose this moment.

Too many of my experiences in Korea have been fleeting (new for the Koreans, but not for me), impotent due to my emotional distraction about the loss of my dog, Carlitos, negative, or good but temporary. I know this event will be temporary if I don’t capture it. So I have written it here in order that whatever comes of it, a moment of beauty for better or worse in my over thinking, godforsaken mind, the good moment can travel with me. I’m dealing with depression, but it depresses me to deal with it. I’d rather ignore it and have it go away…there goes that apathy. Attitude is everything. No matter how much I try to pick myself up and say, you’re not that fat, or who gives a flying fuck what those selfish, racist ass-wipes think, it doesn’t change the fact that people will treat me like shit no matter my attitude, and that effects me. A bus driver won’t open the door for me, and smiles pretentiously. A man on the sidewalk, walking with his girl goes out of his way to “accidentally” throw an elbow at me. It throws him back, as I outweigh the bitch by 3. It was like a Chihuahua trying to body check a Saint Bernard. He shouts something, which I assume means “watch where you’re going."…you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite? For others, the stories are worse related to violence. But, teaching at a kindergarten, I don’t go one day without being reminded once about my missing dog, and 3-30 times that I am fat. Not that I have fat, but that fat is what and who I am. Even if I lost 20 lbs, 60 lbs, or 100 lbs. I would still simply be fat to these people. If I was 3% body fat, then I would no longer be fat…except when they use the word fat to mean large. Because muscles are considered fat if they cause your body to take up more space. I digress, but I want out of the funk. I would like my attitude, my confidence, charm, and charisma to have effect, but all of that is meaningless for a for a fat foreigner to Korea. And, my attitude doesn’t change the way I’m treated. And unfortunately, when you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back into you. The devil doesn’t change, the devil changes you. But, I’m fighting. I’m fighting the depression. I’m building walls to protect the heart on my sleeve. I’m fighting the fat, and I’m fighting the most unnecessary stress builder, the sponge that takes all my time and entertaining personality. I need a new job, with a lot less hours.

My Korean Sisters Vacation 1: Okchan

Filed under: — site admin @ 8:05 am
Back when things were fresh, new and flourishing. The sky was the limit. I was free and careless in a brave new world. I was empty inside, but I was riding on an unchained melody of open-mindedness.

Mickey, Mini, and I headed off on our first adventure. For me it was very new. I didn’t know what to do, or what was expected of me. I was happy to be on vacation with good Korean people, who (for all they know) picked up a stray foreigner, and decided to treat him like a king for a weekend. Standing alone, looking out of a giant window, from the second floor of an estate out onto a gray sky, and large river, I thought, “I never could have forseen this sight, this vacation, or these friends back when I was at Brighton…a year ago, sitting in a cop class in Utah, on a dark night with 6 other psychopaths.” I was finally having an adventure, not just a character-carving moment. I was lucky, but ofcourse, I attract good friends and people because I am a good friend and person (when I am).

Seafood Market

Agoshi, Kyung-oh and girlfriend, moving squid legs.

Day 2, Mickey breakfast, waterfall, buddha temple, frisbee, Baum the wolf hound, 10 hour eating and drinking party with all the fixins including sangria and watermelon, 3 stops. Agoshi spicy river fish ji-gye, Mini bbq shrimp, Chris Captain Q whiskey.

Day 3, Gong building,

I’ll unfold the details later.